The Night Before Christmas in Virginia

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the commonwealth
Not a legislator was stirring, most of them will return in good health
Their bills were hung in the hopper with care
In hopes that enough votes soon would be there
Their constituents were home all snug in their beds
While concerns for the future messed with their heads
Republicans in suits and Democrats along with Chap
Had just settled some deals before taking a nap
When out from Richmond there arose such a clatter
The news media could not figure out what was the matter
Quickly to the internet I opened pages with a flash
Downloaded content and threw out the ads
When what to my wondering eyes did appear
It was Governor McAuliffe drinking a beer
With a new version of Medicaid expansion he thought he was slick
I would have preferred to see jolly St. Nick
Surrounded by Democrats all of the same
He whistled, and shouted, calling his minions by name:
“Now, Saslaw, now Northam now Barker and Wexton
On Toscano, on Bulova, on Sickles and Preston
To the top of the agenda, to the top of the session
Now attack, attack with every possession”
As the Republicans before they did not lie
Then responded with “no chance we’ll let this fly”
Up to the General Assembly the Democrats they flew
With promises of free stuff along with healthcare too
We need to live within our means or we’ll lose our roof
Terry, it ain’t going to work and we have proof
Medicaid will bankrupt us, that’s Terry’s plan
Good thing Republicans have the votes to stop an expand
But Terry’s eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry
I knew he was drunk, his face was red like a cherry
His drunk little mouth was drawn like a bow
I could tell right away his plan was all just for show
With Terry’s broad face and his little round belly
Is he putting whiskey in his breakfast jelly?
He was groggy and lit, a ripe jolly old Governor
And I laughed when I saw him, ‘cause he’ll take long to recover
A wink of his eye and a suggestive move of his head
Soon made me realize we have two more years to dread
He stumbled on his feet and gave his team a whistle
Thank God he doesn’t command any ballistic missiles
But I heard him fall down as he went out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, our drunk Governor ain’t right

Wreath

This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Terry McAuliffe by Taller Than Madison. Bookmark the permalink.

About Taller Than Madison

Taller Than Madison has worked as a paid staffer for Republican candidates at the local, state and federal levels. A native to Fairfax, where he still resides, Taller Than Madison is really just a conservative country boy longing to end up in a quiet part of beautiful rural Virginia. His posts are not paid for or authorized by any candidate or committee.