Friday Funnies

The poorly educated snowflakes who believe they are fighting fascism as members of that group likes to hold riots, tried to fight back against Project Veritas but failed. This article from The Daily Caller explains it. The first line is, “Anti-fascist activists had a difficult time pushing back against James O’Keefe’s investigative reporting during a planned press conference Thursday. They got kicked out of a food court, but not before showing pornography to a reporter.

Yeah. The firsthand account of the whole event is hilarious. The snowflakes thought they had something, so they tried to get a room for a press conference, were turned away because of their violent nature, then had to resort to a food court, but got tossed from there as well. So during their chat (we can’t rightfully call it a press conference due to the laws that govern the food court they were in), one of the members accidentally showed the reporters a folder on his computer full of thumbnails for porn files. Embarrassing, unprofessional, and pretty funny.

If these are the leaders of the left’s radical faction then why in the world would anyone follow them?

homer doh.

Friday Funnies

Scandal rocks the gubernatorial race in Virginia as Pengate now dominates the news. It all unfolded earlier this week when Frank Wagner’s campaign shared a picture of Wagner “at work.” But the cap was still on the pen! This was properly pointed out (photo below).

wagner's penScrambling to save their credibility the Wagner campaign re-created the same photo, because it was that great of a shot, and posted the new photo like nothing happened (updated below).

wagner's pen 2But it’s too late. Pengate has exposed that Sen. Wagner doesn’t really work when he is in his office at the General Assembly.

It’s all in good fun. What really happened was the Wagner campaign made a careless error and one of his opponents was quick to point it out, which was done in a lighthearted way. Nominating contests keep us honest and make things much more meaningful when calling out Democrats for their mistakes. So for now, Pengate will lead the nightly newscasts and we’re ok with that.

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Friday Funnies

Democrats took their last opportunity to protest the results of the 2016 presidential election today at the certification of the Electoral College vote. Their desperate, failed efforts were funny to watch.

Some Ds, still upset that their choice lost, tried to disrupt the proceedings. They were unsuccessful. A congressman from Georgia tried to protest the vote but she didn’t have standing, didn’t want to follow procedure, and ended up just embarrassing herself. Vice President Joe Biden, who as president of the Senate presided over the certification process, said it all when he simply told her, “It is over.” Well said.

biden-certifies-vote.

Friday Funnies

“Now, we’re feeling what not having hope feels like.” -Michelle Obama

She said this during an interview with Oprah. She also scoffs right afterward and then begins to discuss how hope is “a necessary concept.”

There is no substance in her fluff remarks. Populism rode her and her husband into office on the vague word “hope” and they are sticking to their talking points. Of course this must be all Donald Trump’s fault and not the rejection of a radical leftist agenda that she tried to advocate for.

She’s taking the loss a little hard. Her quote is pretty funny considering that despite how meaningless it is, Democrats are eating it up like it is pure wisdom.

No hope? How hopelessly pathetic is that? Thanks for the laugh, Mrs. Obama.

obama-michelle.

Friday Funnies

A man walks into a bank. He approaches the teller with his pay check and says,
“Hello. I would like to cash this.”
The teller says, “Ok sir, I just need to see some ID.”
This surprises the man who then says, “But my name is Barack Obama. I’m the president.”
“Well sir, I’m sorry but the rules are the rules and they apply to everyone the same. We need to see some ID.”
“But I don’t have any ID with me today.”
“Then we can’t help you.”
“But I was really hoping to get this check cashed today. Surely something like this has happened before. What did you guys do then?”
“You know what, this did happen last week. A guy came in without ID claiming to be Michael Jordan. So we went outside to the basketball court at the park, where he showed us some moves and made some shots, so we figured it had to be Michael Jordan. Sir, is there anything you can do to prove you are who you say you are?” asked the teller.
So the man sat there and thought for a minute. And then sat there and thought for a few more before saying with a look of bewilderment, “I don’t know. I can’t think of anything. I have no idea how to solve this. I can’t think of anything to do. I have no solution to this problem whatsoever.”
And that is when the teller said, “Ok President Obama how would you like your cash?”

obama-sad.

Friday Funnies

Happy April Fool’s Day. In honor of this hilarious day the editorial board here at Red NoVA has decided to endorse, for today and today only, Bernie Sanders for president. We anticipate that Sanders will tap one of the heads of Ben & Jerry’s as his running mate and they will campaign on a platform of free ice cream for everyone. That will certainly get our vote.

Feel The Bern, but don’t let it melt your free ice cream.

WP_20150908_002.

Poetry And Politics

Today is World Poetry Day, or at least according to trending items on Twitter it is. So here are a few modern day adjustments to some classic poems or just a few blatant rip-offs. Either way, enjoy;

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Intelligent political discourse has gone away
And you’re ugly too

There is a place where politics ends
And before the screaming begins,
And there the mood is soft and light,
And there new ideas are considered bright,
And there the advocates rest from their plight,
To cool in the prevailing wind.

There once was a man from Nantucket
When it came to work he would duck it
He thought the world was unfair
So he didn’t have a care
And now he’s voting for the Democratic ticket

I wandered lonely as a conservative
With contemplations on values and bills,
When all at once I read a new narrative,
A direction that gave me chills,
New leadership is needed please,
Something to which we need not sneeze.

Two roads diverged in the GOP,
No room for any to travel both
So as one voter there I stood,
Has our Party existed as long as it could?

Poet_Smurf_(Smurfing_About).

Apologies to Shel Silverstein, William Wordsworth, Robert Frost and two unknowns.